Expectations of Therapy

In over 25 years of practice, I have not heard the phrase “Tell me about your mother” uttered by anyone outside of the movies. Don’t get me wrong – early relationships form a critical map for the development of relationships over the course of one’s life. But to boil all of your problems down to that time in the third grade when your mother had a wardrobe malfunction near the ball pit of Chuck-E-Cheese during your best friend's birthday party is an oversimplification. 

This common misconception stems from the work of Sigmund Freud, a pioneering psychiatrist who had a tremendous impact on our understanding of how forces outside of our awareness influence the way we think, feel, and act. He had some brilliant insight into human psychology, though he likely had issues of his own with his mother. That and he liked cocaine a bit too much near the end.

Bottom line is this: Don’t worry about therapy dwelling on your mother and your childhood in therapy. A therapist isn't going to force you to talk about anything you aren't ready to talk about and if they believe this area would be beneficial to explore then it's probably ripe for healing, growth, and strength.